Submission

He scanned the room searching for a victim, a hostage. I tried to make myself as small as possible yet somehow his eyes still found me.
“Hey you, in the suit” he called out, the fear I felt before was nothing compared to what I as feeling right now. My heart raced erratically as I pointed to myself hand shaking. I imagine I looked like a deer caught in headlights my eyes wide with fear.
“Yeah you, get over here” he waved me over with his gun hand. The police had been trying to negotitate  with him for what felt like hours, the hours began to feel like days as he refused to give in. I began to cross the room to the others I must look like a man walking to face a death sentence, I’d only come here to make deposit in and out as soon as possible. But things happen, plans change, people rob banks.
His time was running out he had to make a move soon and I had finally arrived to my doom. He wrapped his arm around my neck the he got real close to me. I could feel his cold breath caressing my face the way a tornado caresses a farm house, time stands still for a moment and then he asks me my name. My name, what is my name? It takes me a second to retrieve the information that should have came instantly. I think he realizes that I’m having a brainfart and I can’t remember my own name because after a few more seconds he says it doesn’t matter. He puts the gun to my head and as I feel the cold metal press against my temple I get a flash of Riley. Right there, the only image my mind can conjure in the face of death is Riley’s smiling face. Riley had been acting funny for weeks now and just a few days ago Riles told me something bad was going to happen somewhere. I’m never going to Riley again, I quicly push this thought away but not quick enough to spare myself the pain of loss. The moment he called over I had accepted my fate, I’m going to die and thats all there is to it.
Somewhere far away, somewhere that I was not, I heard yelling someone making a demand. Even though physically I was there in the room, my mind was miles swimming in sea of sorrow. The sorrow of knowing I was never returning to shore.

Contempt

Today is going to be the most wonderful day of my life, today I am going to propose to Andy. I’d called him at work today and asked him to make a deposit at the bank for me so I could have more time to prepare. We exactly four years ago on this very day, I bet he doesn’t even remember that little tid bit. I’m not sure how many times I’d walked past the television before I’d realized what was happening, finally I sat down and started watching.
There was a hostage situation going on downtown at the bank Andy and I went to. I spared a look at the clock, he should have been home over an hour ago. I fell to my knees struck with the realization that I’ve sent him into something he may not be able to walk away from. I sat and watched the news as the police tried to come to an agreement with the robber, time move painfully slow minutes felt like hours and hours like days. Eventually the robber came out with a gun to someone’s head, Andy’s head!
Tears came red and hot before I could stop them my blood began to boil, I’ve never been this angry in my life. I bite down on my tongue to keep from screaming the taste of salt and metal mixed with saliva filled my mouth, I swallowed it down trying to keep calm. I take a good look at the man, the monster, holding the Andy his mouth is moving but I don’t hear anything and for a moment I am filled with complete hatred. I hate him I hate him I hate him, this evil creature that threatens to rip Andy out of my life. He isn’t even good enough to be a monster, he is a demon sent here to send me to my own personal hell, a world where Andy has died. I feel the bile rise in my throat and try as I might I can’t force it down. I run to the bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach out into the toilet.
I lay there for a while feeling the cold tile against my face and the fuzzy carpets Andy and I picked out. I feel my stomach heave but theres nothing else to throw up, I run the water as cold as it will go and splash some on my face and take a look in the mirror. He wouldn’t be in this position if I hadn’t of asked him to go to the bank, what kind of monster am I? Suddenly I’m filled with disgust for the person looking back at me, I reach for something to break it with but come up empty handed. Finally I just hit it and hard as I can, again and again and again until I can’t feel anything anymore. The glass in the sink is covered with blood and I can’t bring myself to feel anything still. I walk into the kitchen fist still clenched and turned off the stove, the food is done cooking but I don’t want any. I go back to the living room and look for Andy on the TV screen  and immediately regret my earlier behavior because now all I see is a stupid car chase on a stupid highway. The phone rings and I wonder if I’ll bleed to death if I don’t tend to my hand soon, I need someone to drive me to the hospital. I walk out of the house ignoring the fact that I don’t have on any socks or shoes I cross my lawn and bang on the neighbors door.
Tom is a good man hes lived here since long before Andy and I moved in next door. He takes one look at me the blood on my shirt, the glass still in my hand, and the look on my face and guides me to his car. He opens the passenger door like a gentleman before getting into the car himself and the buckles me up. He wants to say something I can tell but he doesn’t know how, I asked him if he’d been watching the news and he nods eyes darting from the road to me and back a few times. I tell him I didn’t see everything and gesture to me hand half smiling, I tell him that I don’t know what happened to Andy I try not to cry. He opens his mouth to say something but I interrupt, I don’t want to know not right now and he doesn’t tell me. We arrive at the hospital and Tom does all the talking for me, Toms a good man. To the other patients I must look like a zombie or maybe an empty shell or something, the nurse looks at me with a mix of pity and something else I don’t care enough to identify. I’m taken to seperate room where Dr.NoName begins to take a look at me, he says I’ve got a lot of glass in my hand, wrist, and arm and if we don’t get it out soon I could die. He tries to warn me that it will hurt but I don’t feel Anything, I don’t feel Andy.